Maldives - W Hotel

So just as a precursor, holy shit. Wow. I simply cannot believe it. I have always wanted to go. I have seen a thousand pictures and have always been enamored. But no shit, truly no shit, this place does not disappoint. It’s the opposite. Almost the entire time there I was saying how surreal it was. It’s simply awe inspiring. Gush gush gush. I love you. Gush. Ok on to the nitty gritty.

The Maldives are far from the US yo! Like hella far. Now I’ve been all over the world, so it’s not distance that I’m talking about, it’s tiny location in the middle of the ocean with time zone issues and thus flight timing issues and covid plane schedule issues and no sleep and zombie awakeness and holy moly this place is hard to get to stuff that I’m talking about. You get me son? It ain’t easy. Flying from LA to Sydney on one of the longest flights in the world is a cake walk by comparison, just sayin.

Now I did my best, as I am want to do. And the best started with Qatar Airways and their new Q Suite set up. It’s pretty bangin. Most international first classes aren’t as good as the Qatar business class set up (make sure your plane has the Q suite though!). We flew it twice to get to Male and loved it both times. The key is the space and the comfortable modern decor. The key is the divider between traveling companions (assuming you get the right 2 seats, I love seatguru by the way, plan ahead ya joker). We flew the 350-1000 each leg there.
The 2 seat configurations were all in the middle (which they actually offer in a 4 seat quad everyone can hang configuration too) and were simply awesome with closing aisle doors and a middle divider that goes all the way down so you can truly hang with your girl.
They even put a pad between you once you drop the armrests creating a pretty seamless double bed. The seat has a nice storage unit that subs as an arm rest when pulled up, well thought out. The do not disturb options for your outer door is a nice touch.
The Q suite is large and open and if you are with someone seated next to you, it can feel huge. They made the beds and the pajamas were comfy as shit.
The menu offerings were great and came full scale or completely a la carte.
The Doha Qatar Air lounge was nice, truly, but not as nice as we wanted. I have seen flagship overseas lounges and this one ain’t it. Upscale yes, perfectly comfortable yes, but it ain’t gonna blow you away. It’s huge, but it’s mostly dining huge.
The people are beyond nice, but most of our layover here was spent wandering the airport that has pretty rad shops and offerings and is apparently open 24 hours 7 days a week!
Upon our arrival in Male we quickly realize that the W lounge has no booze! No booze man! Now I get it. There are country considerations to worry about, but serve something frosty and just don’t mention the no booze thing. Nobody will even notice.
Also, you don’t have to come up to a couple on their anniversary and declare every single thing that you’ve spent months planning. It was a surprise! That can’t be a surprise to you W employees, that people are doing surprises on their wedding anniversaries, and celebrations, and general hey we are in the fucking Maldives-shit? They were super super nice, but just sayin.

In any case, if you are lucky you won’t spend too much time there. As thepointsguy said, they are redoing the whole airport and the lounges along with it, but I don’t have much hope for timing or large improvements. How much can you really spend on what are essentially individual hotel waiting rooms? Maybe the nicer ones should pool their money, go in together, and create a rockstar experience…

Leaving here you take a 15 seater sea plane and it was an experience in and of itself. Bumpy and loud and fun and you are just filled with anticipation. Arriving on the island is no different. Everyone is there to great you. They have buggies take you are around and show you the island (not a very long trip, haha) and then take you to your room to get settled. We were just mouths agape the whole time.

Our room was the WOW suite, the best room besides the extreme wow suite, and honestly the best room period if you ask us. Honestly it was worth every penny (we used cash and points). There are only 3 of these and they sit at the end of the walkways along with the single extreme wow. I am so impressed, so impressed. Now all of the rooms are great, they are, but these rooms are truly special. For starters they are gigantic. That can’t be understated. They are bigger than any room you’ve ever stayed in. The bathrooms are humongous and the 2 full baths have gigantic tubs overlooking the ocean (plus the showers were sexy and rad). There is also a half bath which is great for entertaining, which we did use it for since not inviting people over to this spot just seemed wrong. The main room has huge over water viewing areas that were the real deal, rather than the little port holes that you get in the standard over water rooms. Everything about this room was cool, and comfortable, and awesome, but the outside areas take the cake. They are simply awesome and every area is a place you’ll want to hang. Pool, loungers, day bed, 2nd day bed, over water hammocks, 2 outdoor shower areas.
Imagine what happens here. Yeah we were naked almost the entire time. The privacy you get in these rooms is unparalleled. (We got a chance to look at the extreme wow suite while it was under construction, we thought it was too big btw. Unfortunately along with one of the wow suites (there are 3 wow’s total), it has a look at the lagoon, so I would make sure you are on the ocean side if you like privacy, like we do.)
Congrats W Maldives, this suite is going to be hard to beat anywhere in the world.
Downsides might be the pool texture, which is truly rough and does honestly slightly take away from the fun that could be had with the pool (the main pool btw is done in beautiful soft blue tile and I wonder why all of the pools weren’t).
Another downside (and I obviously nitpick on this site by default) is the proximity of these rooms to the resort. On a hot day calling a buggy is super helpful (they are always available). At night though the long walk is magical. You have options, but the walk may wear on you.
Last slight downside is the ocean itself around these farthest out rooms, each side of the path has much calmer water than the end. It’s basically where deep meets the shallow reef and sand bar so it’s rough, especially during high tide. The lagoon side is superior in only this arena, as I would never trade facing the beach and pool and everything for the naked fun privacy I get here.

Now seriously, we also saw the beach side bungalows. They are rad, they really are. They have amazing outdoor areas and they have a sick open air bathroom that would make any couple happy. That being said you don’t have much a view, the beach in front of you is not private, and overall you are in the Maldives for an over water suite. To come all this way and not do over water seems contrary to the entire point. Doing both would be nice if you have the time, but I would lean heavily on over water.

You think you’ve seen stars? You think you’ve seen shit? Unless you’re an astronomer then you got squat. Not me son. I’ve now seen the heavens, and I’ve been places where you can see stars. I’ve seen all meteor showers and shows and comets and all the things...and it’s NOTHING, nothing like this. This is too much. The Milky Way just sits there like a never moving cloud. Satellites swing by constantly. Shooting stars whiz by every minute. I think we even saw a star go super novae! Haha but I think that would kill us if true. Anyway, holy shit.

The spa is the real deal. Very isolated and very private. And each room has an ocean balcony with a day bed and tub for outdoor treatments. I chose the air conditioned room but man it was good. So relaxing and so perfect. And one of the reasonably priced items on the island (165 for a 60 min massage). Not cheap of course, but nowhere near the markup for everything else.

Ok so the private island experience is killer. Killer. Once in a lifetime for sure. That being said, do you really need to spend the entire night there like we did? Definitely no. The far cheaper, 90 minute sunset option (where they can just drop you off with a bottle of bubbles) is definitely preferable. The 2 of us had a great dinner, and we love each other’s company, but you’re just sitting there on the beach. There is nothing going on which is nice, but that’s true lots of places in the Maldives and kind of the point. You don’t need to go out of your way, it’s unnecessary. PLUS they served sooooo much food. So much. I get that they need to try to find some value for $1150 not including drinks tax or tip. But man so much food. Anyway, get the bottle of bubbles and the sunset trip. Ask them to leave you there. And live on a deserted island with your girl. Like you are perfectly alone. Perfectly. Are you picking up what I’m putting down? Deserted island bucket list, check and check.

I thought the Kitchen restaurant for breakfast was spot on (they included it daily for premium bonvoy members, and an obvious choice between that or points). The buffet was stacked, all the mimosas you can drink were included, the people are super helpful. They have every cuisine you could think of, made to order action, and just about every juice imaginable. It feels good and was the perfect start to each day. That being said we’ll probs do room service one morning (we didn’t incidentally because the room service menu was quite limited and the Kitchen was that good).

We did hit every single restaurant and I guess outside of Kitchen for breakfast, I thought FIRE was best. It had the most options, a nice fireside setting on the beach, and the presentation is just cool and Polynesian. The steak boards were humongous. FISH was good but the menu felt so limited. We got the fresh catch for 2 and it was cool enough where you literally pick your fish that they caught that day. Kada was cool because of the Maldivian menu but the setting was really just an afterthought for them it seemed like. SIP we used often. The sushi was decent but the drinks and atmosphere are why you’re there. So amazing sipping a cocktail and just watching the sunset with a beautiful breeze. I would argue that my one issue might have been that you couldn’t get anything quickly. It’s the middle of the day and you just want to go back to the room and there is literally nothing to grab quickly. Small complaint, but it popped up more than once.

Tip - our friends bought the half board plan for 90 bucks a day and that got you breakfast and dinner (full was 110 a day and included lunch). Now if you aren’t elite and you don’t get the free breakfast, which is an enormous value, then I could see doing the board thing. But overall it does have limitations and fine print and I think it’s best to not worry about dealing with what you can and can’t do. I don’t know, maybe that’s just me.

The whale shark snorkeling trip is clown shoes. The people were tremendously nice and all, but they charged four hundred fifty dollars a person, nine hundred no joke dollars a couple to travel by speed boat (and not a nice speed boat, just your basic bench seat boat) for two fricking hours, just to see what? Nothing in our case. Nothing but a turtle. BUT that’s not really the point. Snorkeling is a crap shoot almost always so no one can be blamed for that. The point is, you can’t charge that much, and you can’t make people go that far, and not even have a snorkeling trip. Like seriously. Part of the trip has to be a snorkeling trip, or the snorkeling trip shouldn’t be called a snorkeling trip. Doing all of that to maybe see a big fish is amateur hour, and I know better. Dedicate 30 minutes to some snorkeling spot. There has to be a way.

Ok so we did the yacht, Escape. It was another one of those, we came all this way so let’s do everything kinda things. Plus, what normal person has spent time on a 75 foot yacht? So we did it. It was 1500 for dinner from 7 to 10 or so. Plus booze. Plus tax. Plus tip. So tbh, we spent about 2700 bucks after tipping an extra hondo.
Now the boat is pretty, but it’s also pretty sparse. All the really cool things you imagined being on a yacht are not there. No indoor salon that you could eat at really, no hot tub area, no upper deck to even use. I would argue it was not decked out at all. It was built for this dinner experience, not for rich style yachting. Which made me pretty sad as rich style yachting has been missing in my life, haha. The 2 bedrooms are on the lower level and are cool enough I guess if you are staying overnight (which if you think the above is expensive then don’t even ask!), but pretty unusable and awkward if you are just doing the dinner. The only guest bathrooms are down there so spending a little alone time is possible, but it’s just a little odd. The downstairs is cool enough, but in this particular setting, it’s not even in the same universe as how cool your actual hotel room is. The food was good, served 5 course style. You sit under the stars with music and just a great atmosphere. It’s romantic and in the vein of a private beach dinner, but better obviously. For this couple though, private dinners aren’t nearly as good as full fun restaurants and bars with people watching and meeting.

The Maldivian fishing trip was actually pretty fun but it is quite simple. Boat for 25 minutes then a nice man will chum your hook and you drop the line and sit there. Don’t be a fool, bring beers :)

What’s the lesson? What is the takeaway? Don’t mess with Maui when he’s on a breakaway? Overall we are soooooo happy we chose the W. Many of the places in the Maldives are for older rich types that make me want to throw up in my mouth a little bit. This was young and fun and hip and we met great friends. It was an almost perfect trip that I can’t believe we did. It was better than I had imagined. What a great job W Maldives. Your people are remarkably nice, and seemingly happy. We remain stunned. We have done many things that come close to this, and we will do many things in the future that try to copy it, but this is our new standard, but let’s try to bring it to the Caribbean eh? :)

*The way back was rough dude. The Maldives are soooo far! haha Because the sea planes don’t operate at night and our flight left late, we actually had a weird layover in Male. We found the one hotel in the entire city that sold booze, seriously there is one. The Hulhule Island hotel near the airport is like that hotel that expats would stay at during a war or something. It’s American styled and just screams foreigner parties. Much of it is closed right now but we managed some bottles of wine and relaxation before the flight. It was perfect for our needs, and probably would of been bangin outside of Covid (and thanks again to that British dude that tried to buy us a bottle of wine!).

The Turkish 330-300’s we took two of were pretty weak. I think it was the same 10 years ago when I flew them, and probs the 10 years before that. Let’s get it together ya’ll. That being said I do always love a layover in Istanbul (I like that city too!). That airport is far better than anything we have in the states.
Our last leg was on the United 787-10. It was pretty sweet, but truly not spacious, and after the Q suite on Qatar it really just doesn’t win in any category. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great and cool, but it’s also pretty tight in there and even a small person will squeeze to enter your seat area.

Again though…what a stellar trip :)