US - Las Vegas

A couple of Aug 2024 notes (stayed at the Cosmo again)

Fontainebleau - Chyna Club was great and the Peking duck was the best in Vegas. Casino and hotel was so dead though. I don’t know how this place is going to survive!
Barbershop speakeasy in Cosmo was rad. Live music was just too cool in that small venue.

Went to Stanton Social again, it was better, and we got to see the flaming steak presentation, which was far better than ordering it ourselves :) There are better steakhouses though now that I’ve seen that gimmick.
Superfrico in the Chelsea tower is supposed to be great.

Went to the comedy show at the Rio. It was meh, just like all non superstar comedy shows, ha.
58th floor king suite in boulevard allows maybe 2/3rds sphere viewage.
Sphere show doors open at start time and 45 minutes after doors open is actual start time. So for a 2pm show you just stand in line until 2 (unless you’re vip). Then you wait around for 45 minutes. If you’ve been before and seen the lobby it’s important to know.

Sphere seating doesn’t change. 205 206 207 is best. Then 300’s of the same. No need to pay for the “directors” seats.

Don’t go to Scores (unless you’re in manhattan). It was empty and just not great.
Just go to spearmint or sapphire or crazy horse. Don’t try to be smart.

2024 Feb Update

-Stanton Social was cool and all but they brought all of the food at once, the fiery steak service at the table requires you buy like a 300 dollar steak big enough for many dudes, and the service staff was a bunch of newbs, dropping everything within 10 minutes of ordering, not bringing everything we ordered, etc. They were nice, but that’s holy shit terrible, especially when bringing a beautiful 120 dollar steak!

So the terrace one bedroom suite in the Chelsea tower is humongous and a great room type. We got it connected to the terrace suite which is the standard long but no separation suite they have in both towers. Floor 27 is too low and you can hear air conditioners (not badly) and it’s too low to see the sphere…

Sphere

Dude. Rad. There is every concert before the sphere, and every concert after. A new era of cool and experience.
Section 202 in the sphere was fine for U2, but section 204 was better for postcards.
300 sections might have you tilt your head less but you’re further away from the center of the video (most of the time).
100’s are again very close but anything past maybe the first 5 rows and you can’t look straight up for much of that section, and you finitely can’t look behind you (and you’ll want to). The GA is awesome for concerts I think…BUT yo ass be standing the whole time.
Having been twice now I would say dead center 206 is best…but it’s also the most expensive, same with 306 but I would argue 206 is better.
That being said, the only “bad” seat is 100 level covered by the 200 overhang, and being too close to the wall/screen. Like you can literally sit next to the dome, and you shouldn’t.

2022 April Update

Cosmo was good again but maybe the ambassadors messed us up. We asked for some pretty basic things before we arrived and did not get them. As always, stay in the boulevard tower unless you want to walk to the strip every day. We were both in king 1 bedrooms which have nice and separate sitting areas and both rooms were in the 20th floor areas so we could hear the bellagio music a bit (though I think it's quieter than it used to be). Dinner at Mott 32 was great as usual, same as the Prime steak patio. We got lounge beds at the boulevard pool and that worked out great (250 spend was easily reached). For the 5 year old we went to the Circus Circus Midway and had a blast...but it was madness, like true madness. I think rooms were 19 dollars a night at the time and thus it was swamped with large groups...mostly of kids. It was bananas. We did check out the new resorts world and were pretty impressed. It's past the Encore so it's far as shit if you're hoofing it. The Circa is also still something to check out. Overall we had a great time, but directly after Park City it was pretty tough...and leaving for disney/universal in one week...ouch.

COVID Update May 2021

Vegas is busy man! Busy as shit. I know what to expect in Vegas. I know busy Vegas. I know crushed Vegas. This was different, and most decidedly not better. Fun still, but the hurdles to fun can be daunting.

For starters getting food was a challenge. Like a real challenge. Like an hour wait easy for just about anything decent you could want. I mean you can always find garbage to eat, but any place that’s cool or hip or interesting it’s gonna take you forever. At the Cosmo the lines for Eggslut and the covert pizza spot were ridiculous. Plus the food hall closing at 10PM every night put so much pressure on everything else that they were bursting at the seams. This was true in every casino we visited.

Also, they want you to pull your mask down when you take a sip of booze and then return the mask to fully on. It was kind of a nightmare. Maybe I drink more than most, but I don’t think so and it was a nightmare. Social distancing was also annoying. Not enough players at the tables. Dividers that kind of prevent you from talking. If I wanted a stupid boring gambling experience I’d go back to Macau!

Plus the strip clubs are hardly open. 50 bucks per person to get in. You can’t get a lap dance. You can’t sit at the rail. You can’t touch anyone or be touched by anyone. You can’t sit within 6 feet of the person you came with. It’s puritanical strip club-ism. I was floored, and we tried multiple places. This will probably change soon. I honestly felt bad for them. It’s an honest profession that’s getting unfairly singled out (I mean you can walk around a crowded casino, what’s the gd difference).

Total sidebar, but I actually enjoy going to Freemont/Downtown. I don’t love the rooftop show thing but overall it feels great down there. We got some of the worst frozen drinks ever and just walked around outside and took it all in. The whole area feels better in fact. There is growth all around it…AND…dude have you been to Circa? Like have you been for real? I don’t think I could ever sty off strip, but this place is rad, and built to compete for the younger crowd! It has if not the longest, one of the longest bars int he world. LOVE. It has a sportsbook area that has the biggest TV wall you’ve ever seen allowing 2 floors of seating and activity to watch them. LOVE. It has a pool area that is huge and has it’s own unbelievable TV wall. LOVE. It really is something.

Don’t get me wrong, we had a blast, and this update is happening just as Wynn announced they are abandoning all social distancing and plastic barriers…but still requiring masks (apparently because their staff achieved 70% vaccinations). I just wanted oh so much more! I can’t wait to go back…that’s how they getcha!

Covid rant over :)

Vegas is one of the best cities in the world…and I’ve been to many. You can go there for just about any type of vacation you can think of. My second to last trip I spent 4 days there and didn’t gamble one cent. My last trip, I won and lost thousands. I love the restaurants, the bars, and just about everything else.

I used to joke that the best food you can find in any country can be found of equal quality in a single one, the United States. If you are the best at what you do, you come to the states to make some money, and Vegas is one of the places that they go. The world’s best architects, build in vegas. The world’s best chefs, own restaurants in Vegas. The world’s best mixologists, create cocktails in Vegas. Other cities like New York and LA have this as well, but not on as grand a scale as they do in Vegas. You go to New York to build your boutique, you go to Vegas to build your palace.

Walking the entire strip is a must, with a long stay in front of the Bellagio fountains (I adore when they play Sinatra, but it changes each time). The sirens show at TI is lame. The fireworks on the 4th are amazing, but primarily because of the Vegas skyline as the backdrop. A helicopter ride to the grand canyon is mind blowing, but I did worry about falling out of the chopper the entire time. Checking out Freemont street at night is a must. The “Freemont Experience” shows will let down anyone younger than 50 who’s been anywhere, but it’s all in good fun nonetheless, plus it just feels right to walk down that street with a drink in hand. Strip clubs here are pretty sick, and you can fire an RPG should you wish it…though they haven’t yet made a place where you can fire one while watching strippers……..light bulb!

Notes to self:

-Went to crazy girls at PH. Man I see the classic burlesque appeal, but this was pretty old and sad. The girls were smokin, there just isn’t enough money put into these shows to make it modern interesting.

-Absinthe at Caesars is a must do. So much fun, but truly raunchy. Like extremely raunchy. Funny, cool, fun, and so unique. Circus tent nostalgia!

-Tao Beach is smaller than I expected. So much fun (we paid a $100 sales minimum for a bed, no cover). On weekdays it’s topless and more people than you’d expect take advantage of this. The drinks are crazy expensive and they make you get doubles to make service faster, but we didn’t care.

-Mott 32 is a must for Peking Duck lovers. Do it. Order in advance. If your group is 7 or less, request the red room, it’s just cooler.

-Craft steak is sick…I think better than the one in NYC. Gallaghers Steak House in the New York is also sick. SW in the Wynn is cool and great, but Lakeside seafood blows anus and the lake show is for nerds.
-The Freemont Experience show kinda sucks…in any version. But I love the street, and the idea, and going there in general.
-The Bellagio fountains are perfect (though Dubai has some skills)
-Best pool for parties is probably the Encore or Cosmopolitan (the brand new Aria area was small and left a lot to be desired)…or Rehab if you’re feeling Jersey shore (closed now of course).
-Best “adult” pool is easily Bare at the Mirage. On weekdays the sales goals for the chairs is pretty low and if you’re drinking you can hit it easily. Bare also does not care if you are staying in the hotel (Morea has turned me down before because I wasn’t at Mandalay). Morea Beach is very cool too, but with a much larger area it lacks the intimacy of Bare (we paid 50 to enter and 300 for a half covered day bed, with no sales goal attached, just a rental fee, pieces of shit). I would say there were many, many hot women (good percentage of topless girls as well) there on a Saturday and it was jammin.
-Best pool for who cares I just want to lay out, probably Mandalay or MGM. Careful getting a cabana at huge pool areas like MGM since they can put you super far from the action. Caesars and Encore have very casual topless pools that are chill and normal (not clubby).
-Sapphire does “layover” parties on Sunday, the idea being that you have to check out of your hotel and you should go there to hang while waiting for your flight. We did not go for this reason, but found ourselves there on a Sunday nonetheless. We did use the free pick up service…but the guys driving these things were maniacs. There was a 10 dollar cover to get in and they usually do sales goals for beds and cabanas. In this case it was very slow so we got a cabana for a $100 tip. The pool was full of dudes playing volleyball. The music was ridiculously loud. The VIP area was as much of a concrete jungle as the rest of the pool areas. The girls could not take their tops off (something about the neighbors being able to see in) so everyone was wearing these ridiculous pasties. You had to go into the club if you wanted a dance (about 200 for 30 mins semi-private). It was boring and I shalln’t be back. Good food though
-Spearmint Rhino is pretty cool, but it’s super dark, and outrageously packed on the weekends. They do have tons and tons of girls and plenty of people dancing. They didn’t have a private table for us but we still got bottle service in those standard captains chair set ups. They do semi private dances for $200 for 30 minutes. They have 3 bars which got very confusing with credit cards and drunk assedness.
-Olympic Gardens can be cool if the mood is right. They have two areas each with their own stage. Had a couples dance (oh Logan) in the back room for $300 for 30 minutes. Closed now. This is closed now but we will never forget you girl!
-Sapphire might be the most extravagant of the Vegas strip clubs. Good place. We got a fantastic deal on some private tables here for a bachelor party. On the most recent visit the ratio of girls to guys was too high! Sounds fun right?! Nope, you are being hussled every 5 seconds. I found it absolutely annoying

-Peppermint Hippo was not a good strip club. Stick to the majors, crazy horse, sapphire, hustler.

-Gordon Ramsey steak might have the best steak (the Rib Cap) in the world. Their bread kind sucks though. *May 2021 update on this, stop going here. It’s fine but come one, is it really that good? No, no it isn’t. Good meal but I was bitter.

-Prime steak at the Bellagio is fantastic, IF IF IF you can get the patio on the fountain lake. It’s amazing if you can do that. You don’t have to be on the rail for it to be perfect. Other than that it’s fine.

-You’ve gotta stop thinking that the steak and cheese at hooters is good. It is not good. Maybe it never was. There is literally no reason to go there. Stop being a dumbass.
-Battlefield Vegas was a ton of fun. Absolutely no need to go again, but the instructors were super nice and the prices were fine. It goes by really, really quickly so beware.
-Top golf did not have their shit together when we went but they did make up for it with some free stuff, and the facilities are cool as shit. Pools, lounges, concerts, bars, and golf
-Our last trip, and I mean last trip ever to Rehab was utterly ridiculous. Those pieces of shit acted liked a bachelor party group was not allowed to act excited to be there at all. I am talking threats. I am talking physical intimidation. I am talking numerous “serious” talks with meathead morons who couldn’t run a Sizzler and who’s only hope is a bikini clad drunk fest where they can throw their weight around. Imagine every moron bouncer you hated in college joining forces to open a bar. I mean they had the cops posted up on our cabana. Oh, and the scantily clad moron server…you are made to wear dental floss and you are offended when my friend makes the slightest remark about taking you home. Are you kidding me? Go home you stupid loser. Fuck Rehab, fuck them in their stupid asses. *Please note that they are totally redoing rehab now, probably because of my bad juju.

-Virgin/old Hard Rock has been turned into a discount hotel. Crazy but so disappointing.

-Absinthe is great but be careful who you bring! Don’t forget how much they talk about cum! Lol

-Carversteak at Resortsworld is good, I really liked it, but maybe they try too hard. The bar in the front is great, and style wise it’s a huge step up from Gordon Ramsey steak. Outside of his entrance I really don’t think that Paris outpost is that great. Speaking of resortsworld, holy crap were there a lot of beautiful women over there. Wow.
-Lady Gaga was good but it was a big band 1950’s style show. Kind of a let down to be honest.

-Consider this…maybe stay in smaller casinos. Big fish in a smaller pond and so on. I couldn’t stop thinking about how silly some of us must look around the real high rollers :) don’t ever forget the Phillipines casinos!

Cosmopolitan Vegas - Most recent Apr 2022

Sep 2023 trip - I think you are generally disappointed with the 1 bedroom suites. The picture is very misleading as it's not really a separate room. Sort of, but not really.

I’ve stayed here too many times at this point so the below is a bit of a hodge podge, but we just haven’t been able to stay anywhere else when visiting Vegas lately. SLS is great but it’s too far (and they now changed the name back to Sahara! ugh). Cosmo is just perfect.

Covid trip. The rooms facing away from the fountains in the east (boulevard) tower look directly down on both the boulevard and marquis pools (pics above). Floor 26 was still a little high to see much definition.
Likewise for floor 25 with fountain view. Maybe 5 floors down is perfect for fountain audio volume, and thees not a ton of incentive to go higher, the view is great regardless.
There is no reason I can think of to stay in the west (Chelsea) tower.
The studio rooms are nice but they don’t have the potential to separate the bedroom from the lounge area like the one bedroom terraces do. Plus the terrace one bedrooms have sexier bathrooms with the soaking tub basically teasing you off the bed.

Oh My! This might be my favorite hotel in the world right now. A lobby with a state of the art casino and a 4 floor chandelier lobby bar is about as close as I can get to love with an inanimate object…well maybe not that close. They have sick restaurants, including a burger bar and a hidden pizza bar (I didn’t love the pizza but who cares, it’s a hidden pizza bar!). If you are in the second, but bigger tower (slightly more off the strip) you will be making a bit of a hike to get to your room, but I saw people having sex no less than twice in this hallway while I was there so at least there was entertainment for the walk (you can walk through the casino and lobby as well, it’s just a minor hike from the strip). My room was awesome. Kind of hallway style with the bedroom and bathroom at the far end. The bathroom had a super deep soaking tub that was separated from the bedroom by a sliding wall, which was a little more than slightly sexy. My balcony was the jam. It sat directly over the Bellagio fountains. I mean you could hear and see them perfectly. I was more than a little impressed as the fountains are a must visit in Vegas, and I must of seen them 20 times this go around. Great room service and great entertainment options in the room. Definitely 24 hour room service…with omelets all day (the menu in general is very good and very broad). Pay per view has good 24 hour action. Mini bar is great with a huge selection and it’s not as expensive as one would expect. Check out is at 11…yes fuck you…but I think that’s standard in Vegas.

Let’s talk about the spa real quick…

We had an amazing time and most of the things one could suggest you probably already do, but 2 tips. 1 is to book the hammam. It’s huge and its size makes it unique outside of the middle east. A rare and fun time, we did it couples style. 2 is to book a private room. We booked for 90 minutes and it has massage tables, a steam room, a giant tub, and lounging furniture. It was perfect chill time after our treatments. It was perfect for many many things to be honest.

Notes

– The pool areas are fantastic. The main “club” pool is the Marquee. Most weekdays there is no cover but there is almost always one on the weekends….which can be negated by booking a chair or bed (they use sales goals and the most recent one for a chair was 250 bucks on a weekday). The bad ass cabanas have plunge pools with glass walls looking out over the entire pool area (most recent sales goal was 1000 on a weekday). It was busy even on a Thursday (and loud as shit as well), but its big day is Saturday. They make a very big deal of going to the Marquee so even when it’s slow it can take a second to get up there. The Boulevard pool area (in the East Tower and you take the elevator to get there) is pretty large but not very organized. People get there early and stay all day. Chairs in the sun are limited. The Bamboo pool (in the West Tower and you take the elevator to get there) is smaller pool wise than the Boulevard, and quieter too, but it’s much easier to find a chair and there are still plenty of hotties around.

an update on rooms…

There are only about 6 bungalow suites, and they are extremely expensive, and definitely built for large groups. That’s not to say that we had a bad time with 2 people, but these suites are giant…so they can be slightly cumbersome to be honest. The hallway getting to them is private and lined with butlers, who do a fantastic job I might add. The first level of the room has a kitchen and the biggest couch you have ever seen wrapped around a giant TV. This place was built for orgies, like no kidding. This level also has access to the pool, which on a busy day would be perfect. The second level has 2 sides, a huge bathroom with a tub overlooking the Bellagio fountains, and a bedroom area which was somewhat bland (except I did like the movable TV wall). The third floor also has 2 sides, a patio overlooking the fountains (with couches and a TV), and a hot tub area overlooking the pool. Both are pretty sweet but also pretty basic. I’m not sure these are worth it for a romantic night. They would be perfect for a group like a bachelor party. The hostess told me that many people book an additional room in another part of the hotel because the bungalows are right on top of the club, and thus they play pounding bass until 5 in the morning…but it was closed the night we were there so I didn’t get to experience that.

The wraparound terrace suite is very nice (even the cosmo’s basic room with a balcony overlooking the fountains is really nice), and I was very impressed. It does have a kitchen, which always turns me off (means they wanted to sell them as condos or were after some sort of long term mid Atlantic beach week stay…not likely, and I don’t want a failed experiment, I want a hotel room dammit). Anyway, the main room is large with a nice couch area and then the bedroom is off to the side. Cool touches everywhere and the bathroom was huge with 2 vanities on either side of a giant tub. The big hit though is the wraparound terrace overlooking the fountains. This thing is huge and has multiple seating areas.

One note, these suites can be so high that it’s hard to hear the music that goes with the fountains. A room lower would offer a similar view and you can hear the music. I don’t know, it mattered to me…

another update on rooms…

Got the “angled” terrace suite this time, which is supposedly only available by request. Pretty sweet, but most rooms at the Cosmopolitan are pretty sweet. This room was in the West Tower (as mentioned above, the East Tower is closer to the strip and you are closer to the fountains so you can “hear” more) on the 48th floor. These rooms are shotgun style but much wider than the standard. They have 2 full bathrooms, but the master is the jam. It’s giant and has a huge shower area…like 5 people shower area, right next to a nice soaking tub that looks out onto the strip/fountains/etc. The living room area in this room is a little weak with 2 chairs instead of a couch. Lighting in all rooms is very cool. Beds are great. Push button controls are great (but not as great as at the Wynn and Encore). Balcony on this room was much bigger than standard, and only slightly smaller than the wrap around suite.

2022 update

Turns out I was wrong about the boulevard tower. Well not entirely wrong, it is better for moving around the strip and casino overall, BUT we just did the wraparound suite in the Chelsea in 3101 and it was just about perfect. The view is panoramic, and you simply can’t get that in the boulevard. Now it’s lame, but the marquis was crushingly loud until 4 in the morning. Yes, yes, we need to be cooler, but it is worth noting… they also offer zero pay per view now. I don’t think we’ll stay here next time.

Also you love the cosmo hammam, BUT you hate that scrubbing treatment. It’s not fun so stop ordering it! 

-Had a pretty crappy experience at Beauty and Essex (though who doesn’t love that pawn shop opening)

-The new food hall is pretty cool, but honestly it’s odd not to be able to get a burger or a steak and cheese (I suppose Holsteins had a non compete across the way but greasy spoon burgers are totes different)

-We happen to really dig the Blow Dry bar at the Cosmo. All blow dry bars are similar but this one does it right with champagne and DJ’s.

Planet Hollywood - Aug 2016

We stayed here for a bachelor party. The price was right for our big group and the location is really impossible to beat for the price.

I do really love their casino. Girls everywhere. It’s much less family friendly than the others around it.

Room was fine, pretty standard for Vegas. Good view of the pool.

Notes

-Pool area kinda sucks. They have 2 of them but they are mostly concrete jungles. They could actually be really nice with not that much effort me thinks.
-Loved me that Earl of Sandwich. 24 hours was a life saver.

Mandalay Bay Vegas - Aug 2014, Jun 2007

Build a giant wave pool with a beach, cafes, girls everywhere, and cold drinks, and eventually I will come. Mandalay is a little bit of an enigma for me. I love the pool action, including the live shows and the private adult area, but I don’t really know what this hotel is. I love the shopping area with the cool restaurants and bars (including my favorite, Burger Bar) but I don’t know how this hotel wants to be described. They have nice rooms here with nice views, but the decor is nondescript. Maybe because it’s at the end of the strip they figured nobody would notice the lack of a theme. Like it’s the last place to play on your way out of town, so who gives a shit. I don’t know…and I guess I don’t care. You have to go to the Mix restaurant and check out the balcony (amazing views right above the peak of the Luxor). The lounge next door is sweet as well but you get more privacy on the restaurant balcony. Also I would check out Aureole, with their wine tower and rappelling wine angels.

While Mandalay hasn’t changed much over the years, they have added a new day pool club called Daylight (that I didn’t go to), a food court that would be terrible anywhere and is a million miles away, some cool restaurants (Boiler Room was sweet looking but empty), and some updated bars. The Delano, if we exclude casino action, is going to kick its ass…though I did run into and play Blackjack with Cole Hauser at Mandalay…so many extra points for them.

Dude, stayed at the brand new Delano in August…place is sick. It’s much closer to the main hotel than many satellite places in Vegas. Rooms have good strip views (not great since you’re a little buried behind Luxor) and fairly crappy views in the other direction. Rooms themselves are great with the white on white Delano style. TheKing Suite (the name will probably change) was in the corner so I had a ton of window action, along with great lounging space, great entertainment action, and 2 full bathrooms. The master bath was perfect and huge. The tub was cool but the shower was super nice. 24 hour room service, 24 hour pay per view action, great mini bar (these amenities are also true for the Mandalay proper).

Notes

– I lost a lot of money in this casino and received a voucher for a free breakfast in return…so they can go fuck themse…whatever.
-Morea Beach is tough to access if you aren’t staying at the hotel. I did review it in the Vegas section…
-Each hotel tower has a spa. The Mandalay one is typical and busy. The Delano one is hip, modern, quieter, coed, and clothing optional…um…yes.

Aria Vegas - Apr 2022, Jun 2013

On the bright side, there were tons of hotties at Aria and I’m pretty sure they were not aware of any clothing other than mini skirts and skin tight dresses, on the not so bright side, wait, did I mention the hotties? Aria is hip and very new. The view from the rooms is blocked in many directions from much bigger or well placed hotels, but they make up for it with awesome rooms and access to everything (trams to bellagio and Luxor, pedestrian bridge to Planet Hollywood). They’ve got tons of restaurants (maybe lacking in the casual american type places) and great room service. My room was a pretty sick corner suite with a huge amount of space and a monster bathroom, with heated toilet seats I might add, ha! The rooms have every amenity you might need and some you may not have tried yet. It’s always nice when stumbling into bed at 5am to be able to hit one “goodnight” button that closes all shades, turns off a all lights, and kills the TV. The pools are perfect for standard lounging and Liquid, the pool “club”, is convenient but small. I wanted the bars to be better on the casino floor and I wanted more style to the restaurants (many of them are “open” and spill out into the main areas), but this is a hotel that’s pretty hard to complain about.

Notes

– My only real complaint was that my bedroom curtains would not completely close, meaning the crazy bright vegas sun snuck into my room every morning. A fully manageable problem with alcohol.

-2022 Corner suite is pretty rad. Adult options are limited but they do have 24 hour action. Room service was fine but also felt limited. Like everywhere you want a high floor here but not too high in most cases (it can lose definition). The room is huge with a fun tub and sexy shower. The living room with additional bathroom is perfect for relaxing or if you had a kid. The main bathroom is pretty killer with the 10k toilet…

The Palms Vegas - Sep 2011

To be fair, I stayed in the “Palms Place” hotel…which I think was a condo conversion when they couldn’t sell all the condos. The rooms here seemed bigger, they had (pointless) balconies, and they had sweet tubs that overlooked a fantastic strip view. The only problem is they no longer allow access onto the balconies and the balcony was so big that when sitting in the tub you couldn’t even see anything outside! I honestly considered moving, but the room set up was still kinda sweet (giant dining area, completely separated from the bedroom, which was completely separated from the bathroom…and the cool tub kind of sat in between the bedroom and dining room. I liked the style but I hated the walk! Get your girl before you go back boys…before you go back. This tower is super far from anything you want to go to in the Palms proper (it has a separate entrance that cabs can go to but still). Now the pool at the Palms is really nice. It’s quite big for a party pool (Friday’s are best) and the bar in the middle is convenient as hell. Visiting ghost bar in the Ivory Tower and Moon in the Fantasy Tower are a must for any Vegas visitor. Stepping out onto that balcony is daunting, but oh so much fun.

Notes

– I felt like the Palms is overall pretty old and tired. It’s pretty far from the strip (even though it’s right off of it) and the casino and other main areas just feel worn out. I love the idea, particularly the cantilevered pools in the mega suites, but an update is in order.

MGM Grand Vegas - Jul 2011, many more

Vegas always had me at hello. I like the idea of being able to get whatever I want, whenever I want it. I especially like the idea of imagining what I want and then figuring out a way to place a wager on it. That being said, no two vegas experiences are alike. The MGM can be a little bit like your families best vacation. They have countless rooms, countless pools, countless restaurants, etc., etc., etc., until you die. Now the standard MGM towers are kind of old at this point. Even though they are connected (like the hallways are technically the same), they call one of the arms of their giant hotel the “West Wing” (and I give them points for the name alone!). Now the west wing is most definitely more modern, but the rooms are also smaller, so there is a trade off. Overall the suites can get pretty nice and there is a spa suite that always works for me. The pool area is very cool and a day floating around a lazy river can be relaxing. Obviously I recommend renting a cabana but be very careful, some cabanas are really tucked away, and if you don’t watch yourself the only eye candy you will be seeing is drunk dudes thinking no one can see them as they pee in a bush. Anyway, they did build Wet Republic. A mecca of daytime poolside clubbing. It’s pretty sweet if you’re into that sort of thing…which of course I am.

Notes

–Vegas offers every amenity one could need, though strangely now that I think about it, I have never actually found a gym in a Vegas hotel. Perhaps that’s because I try very hard not to look for one. The newer hotels are starting to make a big play for this type of traveler though…often times inside of a sweet spa.
-The MGM Signature is much nicer than the Grand, but it does feel condo-ish. I would call the walk there from the casino about as miserable as the Palms Place walk. Beautiful patios can overlook WET, which ain’t half bad, but if you’re like me you want to stay up high and up there you can’t see so much. The Signature has bigger and better rooms that the West Wing…but it certainly doesn’t beat the new modern hotels.

Hard Rock Vegas - Jul 2011

The Hard Rock is just sexy. It’s not on the strip…it’s really not convenient at all, but it is worth it. Right when you walk in and hear the music and see the red you know you are right at home. The casino is super small but I think it might be the most fun casino in Vegas. Everyone is having a good time and is reasonably young (not many octogenarian tour buses stopping off here to smoke cigarettes and play slots). The rooms are pretty nice but mostly standard at this point. Great entertainment options in the rooms though (although strangely the shit hole that is Macau had better). If you come to the Hard Rock, you’ve got to hit the pool. Music plays under water, they have beaches seemingly everywhere, and you can play blackjack the entire day outside with a bikini clad hottie. I can say that I have done Rehab, and it was awesome…and terrible. The cabana I rented was pretty big and in a great upper level people watching location. The minimum charge was at least 3 grand but we had enough people where food, vodka bottles, and champagne took care of that reasonably quick. I guess I loved that part of it. What I didn’t count on was the amount of redneck types that visit rehab. I don’t know why I was expecting different, but this party was straight out of south padre rather than south beach. Cool for many, a let down for some, a gd catastrophe for others. On a scale of asshole to Einstein, this place leans heavily towards asshole.

Notes

– Though I jest, Rehab is something everyone should try. Good American fun, and jersey girls can be super hot.

Encore Vegas - Jul 2011

Steve Wynn knows what he’s doing. The style at the Wynn and Encore would make anyone fall in love. That’s not to say there are not faults. They have multiple restaurants and bars sitting on a pseudo “lake” (they call it the lake of dreams), SW Steakhouse which is fantastic and Lakeside (seafood, and the opposite of fantastic) to name a couple. This lake presents shows every 30 or so minutes that must have been produced by Hunter Thompson after he just took a hit of Hunter Thompson. I mean these are shows that a 10 year old would find off putting. But alas, you are are sitting on a lake enjoying food and drink with friends. I love the Wynn/Encore pool system. They have topless adult pools that are very casual and relaxing, they have a couple standard pools, and then there is the Encore Beach Club. The beach club is pretty sick when it’s in full swing. Hard to get a seat if you aren’t there early, but easy to get a drink and find pool space. Go with a girl and stay for hours. The room at the Encore was a bedroom and living room separated by a giant TV wall. I was pretty impressed with the level of tech in the room. Room service was some of the best in Vegas. Check out the XS nightclub. Amazing set up around the Encore pool.

Notes

– My only real complaint might be that these hotels are on the far end of the strip. Not incredibly convenient for walking around.

The Venetian Vegas - Oct 2005

What’s not to like about the Venetian? You gotta love a giant canal winding through Italian settings complete with gondola rides and singing gondoliers. I love the Italian restaurants along the canal shops. It’s truly a site that never gets old. Pools at the Venetian are nice but somewhat lacking in the “cool” factor. Staying in the Venezia tower gives you access to a special check in area and a separate pool…but the special check in area gets a little old and annoying and the pool is meh. The concierge folks were top notch though. Rooms default as suites, which is hard to beat. You basically walk in to a bedroom and then go down some stairs to a separate but not really separate living room. It was slightly scammy, but I loved the idea.

Notes

– No problems.