Spain - Menorca
Oh man they duped us. Kids club kids club kids club. It only means one thing. A place to plop your kid so they can have supervised fun with other children. Supervised fun. It’s an amazing thing. And since our kid had been by herself for so long we chose this resort for the kids club. We flew here for that.
Guess what? Their version of a kids club is a room with toys in it. Just a room. With toys. Oh but don’t worry, it’s open 24 hours they said. Like that fucking matters. Is it a big problem for parents to be without a toy room at 2am. I mean Jesus Christ. What a kick in the nuts. There are so many kids here, with so many parents who are like, how could they dupe people like this. Guess what Villa Le Blanc Gran Meliá, every family house in the world has a room where the kids can go and play with toys. It’s the supervision that makes it special. Without that, it’s just the waiting room at a doctors office. I mean what the fuck were you thinking?
We loved Ciutadella and its old windy streets, along with Moriarty bar there and its amazing back patio.
Jumping off cliffs and swimming in the inlets of Ciutadella with our friends was quite the day. So special.
Mahon itself was cool too with its markets and cool boutique shops.
We hit the white roofed town Binibeca something and it was great but if you don’t get there early you ain’t getting no parking.
We loved the beaches next to our hotel but with the lack of sand width I wonder if in august it’s a shit show. Mainly the water is clear blue and you can walk out a hundred feet in the shallow water which is rad.
Cafe Balear was a must do in Ciutadella, but it is very popular so not only should you make a reservation, but get there early for the first come first served outside patio tables. You will be sad to sit inside unless it's raining or something.
Second long stay here was in July 2024:
Tastnet was a fine restaurant.
Smoix doesn’t allow kids anymore so they sent us their sister restaurant Katu, which was actually great but totally inappropriate for kids. The food was pretty elevated and at least my kid just wanted pasta :)
The beach you have to walk to by the Villa Le Blanc (our first hotel below) is worth it for naked sunbathing, but nothing else is there. It’s the one where you pass the beach front restaurant (which we love by the way) and walk all the way down the path until it ends…lot’s of nakeds there.
The beach on the other side of Villa Le Blanc is much more family friendly and has amenities. It’s actually like a full beach experience on that side, but sometimes you just want barren and boobies.
The amusement park we went to was very old and great only for young kids, but our friends loved that classic shit.
Stayed in Los Delphines this time. It’s very close to la Ciutadella, but still, do not stay in this area. It’s like an international/British enclave of non Spanish restaurants. Our house was good and you could walk to a cool cliff jumping beach, but there wasn’t much of a view which they kind of duped us on.
Notes to self:
-I don’t know, it’s a pretty amazing island I guess.
Villa Le Blanc Gran Melia - Jun 2023
Don’t even get me started on our “suite”. Parents book suites so they have a separate space and don’t have to go to bed at the same time as their kids. Yes we want a nice room too, but that’s why.
If you don’t have a kid you don’t give a shit and that issue has probably never occurred to you. But it does to parents. It’s huge for parents. This hotel is just mean.
It’s beautiful. And the staff is great and nice. And the room in and of itself is great with a big balcony and outdoor hot tub.
The breakfast was great but man it seemed hard to get someone’s attention even with the thousand workers they have there.
Again though, at the end of the day, this hotel is just mean.
Notes
-The hotels S’Amador was good but you don’t need a rez, at least not when we went. It really just feels like an extension of their breakfast and lunch restaurant Nivi, so it has no unique style to speak of. The original S’Amador is vastly more popular.